Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
