I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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