i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize