She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
