Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Found your dick twin last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
