I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
