I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
