I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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