Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
