so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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