I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
