you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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