My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
