i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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