if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
