TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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