He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize