Plan B is the new Plan A
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
