Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
