in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
