end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
