Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
