Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize