We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
