Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
