Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
