He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
