no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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