Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i love accidental penises.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize