Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
