My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
