ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
