my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
