If that was your dad, he is hot
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
