There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
