ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
