have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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