Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
