can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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