theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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