Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
