I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize