Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
