thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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