Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
