Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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