and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
