Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize