i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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