My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
