So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
