Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize