I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize