The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
