You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize