Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
