he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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