Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
