My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just want to make out with him forever
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
