would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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