So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize