Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
