You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
