She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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