I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
