Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
