Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is Oprah even human
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
